More About Meredith

I never really finished telling Meredith's story (somehow I've been busier than usual lately!) We'd met with Amy, the birth mother, and her friend and also the caseworker on Sunday at breakfast. Afterwards we took the boys over to the hospital to meet their little sister for the first time. They were so adorable with her! Noah's first words when he saw her were, "oh cute!" They both held her so tenderly, and were so sweet and protective of her. I think the pictures of them with her are worth a thousand words.

Scott took my mom and the boys back to our rental house and I spent most of the rest of the day there. He came back in the evening and we all spent some time together, and then had to go home and get a little bit caught up on sleep.

The next day, Monday, was almost as stressful as Saturday had been. The Illinois agency we were working with had a bunch of paperwork that hadn't yet been finished. We knew Meredith was going to be released from the hospital that day, and unless the paperwork was finished she wouldn't be able to be released to us. She would have to go to a foster family, which would be terrible for us and for the birth mother as well. Scott had a business meeting in Phoenix, and he spent the entire drive there and back on the phone trying to make sure everything got done. Our Gladney caseworkers really worked hard for us and, thank goodness, everything fell into place. I left the hospital with Meredith and Scott and I both ended up arriving at the rental house within just a few minutes of eachother. So we got to bring Meredith "home" together.

She spent her first night there with us, and did quite well. The next morning (Tuesday) the birth mother signed the relinquishment papers. Afterward we met our caseworker, Vanessa, at a Starbucks and signed all of our papers (even more signatures than when we bought our first house.) Finally we were all done. I didn't realize how stressed I'd felt until it was all over and a huge weight rolled off of my shoulders. Vanessa gave us a teddy bear for Meredith, and she'd given a matching one to Amy. We then went to Amy's house so that her children could meet Meredith. It wasn't something you'd do in most adoptions, but we felt very good about doing it. 2 of her kids were there, an 11 and a 12 year old. They were so sweet, and had written a note for us, thanking us for taking care of Meredith. Amy got to have "closure" - - we talked for about 45 minutes and she got to hold Meredith one last time. It was somewhat emotional right at the end, but Amy said over and over that she knew she was doing the right thing. What a wonderful lady she is, to make such a sacrifice for us. We were so happy!

The next day Meredith had her first doctor's appointment (a requirement before we left the state). Then we drove to Phoenix to wait for clearance to leave. We stayed in a nice condo/hotel with a kitchen and laundry, very convenient. There was also a swimming pool, but it was so hot that I didn't even venture out. Scott did swim with the kids though. Speaking of hot, I left my cell phone in the car and the heat ruined the screen. Yikes! It got up to about 115 while we were there. I don't know how people manage to survive those kinds of temperatures!

That weekend was the Garner family reunion, and Scott decided to go and take the boys, leaving Meredith and my mom and me there in AZ. It was kind of a nice break. We spent several hours at the mall, just to keep from going stir crazy. Lots of people commented on Meredith, saying what a beautiful baby she is. A couple of people said how great I looked after just having had a baby, and I had to admit that I hadn't actually given birth. It was nice though! And at least no one said, "wow, you only have about 10 pounds left to lose!"

Scott left Ethan in Idaho with his parents, to "work on the farm" for a few days. He and Noah came back and Omi left. Oh it was so nice to have my mom there for me! She was so helpful, watching Meredith so I could nap, and we had a lot of fun talking and reading and watching tv and eating (Mom is a great cook, and always puts me to shame). Anyway it was a huge help and support to have her there, I don't know how we could have done it without her!

Scott and I had a couple of nice days together with Noah and Meredith. We had Sunday dinner at the home of our friends the Woodwards, who moved from Illinois a few years ago. It was so nice to see some familiar faces, and great to chat with them. We were really hoping to get clearance to travel on Monday, because Scott had business in Illinois on Tuesday, and sure enough, it came through. I was a little bit nervous about traveling with Noah and Meredith, but they both did great! It was wonderful to finally be home with our little angel.

Ethan flew back home along with Grandma Garner, who stayed for several days. That was wonderful too, because it took a lot to keep the boys entertained and take care of a baby at the same time. She also watched them while Scott and I took Meredith downtown to do some legal stuff. We had to go to the Daley Courthouse and meet with our attorney and present her at the sherrif's office where she was "served" with papers (the guy had to literally touch her with the papers!) Then we had to go before a judge, who asked us a few questions about work and our living arrangements. Meredith was perfect throughout. It looks like the adoption will be complete sometime in January. Could be sooner, but we're not counting on that. But barring a felony on Scott's or my part, she's ours!!!

103 Reasons I Love Being a Mom

This is for me to read over on the days I'm not as grateful as I should be . . .

1. That new baby smell! I'd forgotten how wonderfully intoxicating it is
2. Watching Ethan become such a fine young man
3. The way Ethan's hair is has become a little bit curly (although he definitely needs a trim!)
4. Kissing Noah on his little bald head
5. The way Meredith scrunches up against me
6. Noah's excitement when he sees me, even after just a short time away (like at church)
7. Little baby sighs
8. Little baby sizes :)
9. Personal jokes and Simpsons trivia with Ethan
10. Watching Ethan experience books I loved when I was growing up. And watching him read books I haven't read yet (he's 600 pages into the 1200 page unabridged edition of Les Miserables!)
11. Noah's pages and pages of numbers. He sometimes writes letters too, and makes people that have hair sticking out all over like amoebas
12. The way Noah spells some words, like "zoo" so that we can understand what he is saying
13. Watching Ethan play with his little buddy Noah so sweetly
14. Hearing Ethan say how cute Noah is
15. Meredith's big blue eyes
16. Ethan's famous french toast
17. Noah's lists of things to eat, always including chicken and honey nut cheerios
18. Teeny-tiny diapers
19. Buying school supplies
20. Watching sleeping babies and sleeping big boys
21. Experiencing school again, this time through them. I didn't realize how much I'd forgotten (or never learned)
22. Decorating Meredith's room (so much pink!)
23. The fact that Ethan loves classical music
24. The fact that Ethan opted for classical guitar, not electric (whew!)
25. Ethan's laugh
26. Noah's laugh
27. Meredith's little sleeping baby smiles
28. The way the boys look in their cute jeans
29. Ethan's first real suit
30. Noah's penchant for wearing ties - - with everything
31. How soft Meredith's skin is
32. Noah's first words when he saw Meredith, "oh cute!"
33. My always increasing gratitude for my parents
34. The kids' relationship with their cousins
35. The kids' relationship with their grandparents
36. When Noah says, "of course!" when I ask him to do something
37. Anytime Ethan does something nice without being asked
38. Reading Ethan's school essays
39. Ethan's quirky sense of humor
40. Noah's goofiness
41. How great the boys are on airplanes
42. Noah's love of elephants
43. Ethan's love of penguins
44. How much I've learned about elephants and penguins
45. Family traditions, like fresh guacamole
46. Family words and sayings, like "spelunking," meaning eating all the m&ms out of trail mix, or picking the cookie dough chunks out of ice cream
47. Watching Scott play with the boys
48. Seeing how sweet Scott is with Meredith
49. Knowing I couldn't possibly have chosen a more wonderful father for my children
50. Bragging about my kids
51. Reading stories and going to the library
52. Looking forward to all the girly things I'll get to do with Meredith, like dollhouses, painting fingernails, and reading the Laura Ingalls and Anne of Green Gables books
53. Talking to Noah on the phone
54. Meredith's yawns
55. The perfect quiet of the house at 3 a.m. when I'm feeding my baby girl
56. All of Noah's hard-won accomplishments
57. The fact that Noah's Down syndrome has opened so many wonderful doors for me
58. Seeing all the positive reactions to Noah when we travel (we've had some negative responses, but the smiles far outweigh the frowns)
59. How protective Ethan is of Noah
60. How gentle Noah tries to be with Meredith
61. Looking at baby pictures
62. The incredible kindness people showed to us after Noah was born
63. The way people have celebrated Meredith's adoption with us in such a loving way
64. Ethan's testimony of the gospel and enthusiasm about being a member of the church
65. Listening to Noah pray
66. Listening to Noah sing
67. Listening to Ethan play the piano or guitar
68. Learning to use sign language with Noah
69. The truly awesome people I've met because of Noah
70. Being a member of the "parent of a child with Down syndrome" club
71. The fact that Ethan and Noah seem to have forgiven my first fumbling attempts at parenthood
72. The fact that I get another chance to try to get it right
73. The fact that Ethan still isn't too embarrased to be seen with me in public (unless I start singing)
74. Watching Noah try to be brave when he gets an owie by taking a deep breath and showing us his muscles
75. The fact that the kids aren't very picky eaters, a plus for someone like me who doesn't like to cook
76. All the things I've learned about people with special needs
77. All the things I've learned about adoption
78. Going through infertility, because it made me more thankful than ever that I could give birth to my first two children
79. Waiting 9 years for Meredith because I treasure her all the more now that she's finally here
80. Learning to depend more on my Heavenly Father for help in raising the spirits he has entrusted to Scott and me
81. Learning to really, really pray
82. The buff biceps I'm getting from carrying Meredith's carseat around (man that thing is heavy!)
83. Passing along baby boy clothes to my sister and remembering how cute my little guys looked in them
84. Footed pajamas
85. Onesies
86. First haircuts
87. Not having to get Noah's hair cut :)
88. The two-second rule
89. Learning to relax about keeping the house spotlessly clean
90. Sitting and watching TV or reading and not feeling guilty about it because I'm holding a baby
91. Having a good excuse for not breastfeeding Meredith after feeling so guilty about giving on on nursing the boys after 2 weeks/one month
92. The wonderful, amazing birth mother who gave us the most precious gift in the world - - we will love her forever
93. Knowing that we're a forever family
94. Knowing that someday I'll be able to stop changing diapers (please, oh please)
95. Learning to trust my gut when it comes to figuring out what is best for my kids
96. Working together with the most wonderful husband in the world
97. All our crazy memories and adventures, like the time we had to spend the night in the Malad middle school because of a blizzard
98. How fast Noah can run, except it's not so great when I'm chasing him through Wal-mart
99. How even total strangers have helped out when Noah has gotten lost in stores because he has outrun me
100. Jumping to the front of the line at Disneyland
101. Seeing Ethan and Noah become more independent
102. Knowing that Meredith is, for now, completely dependent on me
103. Knowing that nothing in the world is more important or more precious than the job I'm doing raising these three fantastic, wonderful, amazing children

(Note to all my friends who are mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, or teachers - - this was really a wonderful exercise for me, I've been in a great mood thinking up all the things I love about my life, and I could come up with a million more!)

Meredith Leigh

Our little angel is finally here. Baby Meredith arrived at 2:43 a.m. on Saturday, July 11th, 2009. We got the call late Friday afternoon that Amy, the birth mother, was in labor. We really weren't expecting that - - she wasn't due until August 4th, and the doctors were planning to induce labor on the 28th of July. We'd had everything planned out, we were going to go down a couple of days early and we had a house rented and everything. But Meredith decided to change our plans, and although it got a little hairy for a while there, everything worked out.

Our biggest concerns were getting to Tucson and finishing up our home study. Our IL agency was scheduled to come the very next morning. We tried our best to get them to come Friday night but we couldn't get in touch. So we spent the night running around packing and making phone calls to cancel everything we'd had planned for the next couple of weeks. I'm so glad it's summer and we didn't have to deal with the kids missing school or anything (Noah missed some summer camp, but that was not a big deal).

Saturday morning we got up at 4 a.m. to finish packing and clean the house up (usually at a home visit they go through your house with a fine toothed comb). Our caseworker came at 7 a.m., and spent about 15 minutes asking us questions that could have easily been answered on the phone. She didn't even ask to see the house (although I did show her the nursery). There was a form they hadn't given us that needed to be notarized so we had to stop at a bank on the way to the airport to get that done, and then stick it in the mail. We arrived at the office park where we leave the car and were just in time for the 10:00 shuttle. Unfortunately it didn't leave for 15 minutes, causing us to miss our flight. It was so frustrating! We were flying standby, but that first flight had seats on it and we probably would have made it on with no problems. As it was we weren't able to get on another flight to Phoenix or Denver, although we tried desperately. We were running from one end of the airport to the other for about 3 hours with no luck. Finally we sat down to regroup. In the meantime we learned that Meredith had been born, and we even got to see a picture of her (and her adorable sticky-up hair). Well it was just killing me to know that my baby was there and I wasn't!!! To make matters worse, Amy wanted to check out of the hospital, but didn't want to leave until we got there. We knew that she wanted us to be there for the birth and we felt bad that it wasn't possible. She told Vanessa, her caseworker, that she would stay there at the hospital until we got there. Well this posed a bit of a problem for us because we didn't want her to become too attached to Meredith. I told Scott that one of us had to get out there. Plus my mom was going to be arriving in Phoenix. Well Scott worked his magic and found a Northwest flight leaving about 30 minutes from them. I grabbed my stuff and ran to the other terminal. I can't even explain the stress I was feeling - - it was emanating from me like stink lines in a comic strip. When I reached the gate I realized that Scott still had my ID from going through security. I think the gate agent realized that I was on the verge of tears because she let me use my Costco card to board the plane. The flight went to Milwaukee, and then I had to get on another flight to Phoenix. But I still needed my ID so that I could pick up a rental car and get into the nursery at the hospital. Well I arrived in Milwaukee and Scott and the boys had managed to get on a flight through there as well. Their flight was delayed coming in, but mine was delayed leaving, so we were able to meet there and I got my driver's license. Whew!

I was exhausted by this time, but way too wired to sleep. My flight arrived in Phoenix - - I was in one terminal, my luggage was in another, and Mom was in a third. We finally all got together and picked up the rental car. Fortunately for me the drive to the hospital in Tucson was very easy. Mom and I chatted the whole way, which made the time fly by. We got there at about 9:30 at night. Vanessa had told us that Amy had checked herself out of the hospital, but was planning on coming back so she'd be there when I got there. Oh the emotions as I walked into that hospital room. The first thing I did was go straight up to Amy and say "thank you" and give her a big hug. I'm so glad I did that, because it meant a lot to her. She also said that the look on my face made the whole 9 months worthwhile. She'd never known she could make anyone that happy.

Then I saw my little baby for the first time. She was all wrapped up like a little burrito, lying in the bassinet. Red round face, with soft brown hair sticking up in a mohawk. She was absolutely beautiful, and I knew she was the precious little spirit that Heavenly Father intended for Scott and Ethan and Noah and me to have as part of our family. She didn't make a peep the whole time I was there, just snuggled up in my arms and slept. Amy and Vanessa and Amy's cousin chatted with Mom and me for a while and then they left. Vanessa (who lives in Phoenix) had been there for the birth and stayed all day with Meredith. I was so grateful for her dedication! Throughout the whole experience she and the other people at Gladney really went the second mile for us.

Mom and I just sat there and stared in adoration at our little angel until Scott got there. He had quite an experience himself. He and the boys made it to Denver just fine. There were 2 flights leaving within 10 minutes of eachother, one to Phoenix and one to Tucson. He was near the Phoenix flight so he checked in and they cleared him to board, but said to not get on quite yet. When the flight was getting close to leaving they announced that it had checked in full. Scott asked about his seats, and sure enough, they'd been given away. The gate agent hadn't even bothered to tell him. And the other flight to Tucson was way at the other end of the terminal. Well Scott had Noah ride on the suitcase, and he and Ethan ran to the other flight. As they got there the door was closing and the jetway had pulled away. Scott explained the situation to the gate agent but he said "too bad" and that the flight only had one seat left. Scott could see on the monitor that there were 10 seats, and the flight was leaving a bit early. He could also see the pilot, since the nose of the plane was right near the window. So he made a praying sign with his hands, and pointed to the boys. It's amazing, but the pilot called the gate agent (who said, "they're only non-revs!") The pilot had them open the door and put back the jetway. Let me tell you, that never happens. It was one of those little miracles that made up for all the bad luck we'd had that day! So he and the boys made it to the hospital at about 11:30. Scott came in and met his daughter, while Mom went and stayed with the sound-asleep boys in the car. He was so sweet with her!

The people we were planning on renting the house from were very understanding about our situation and allowed us to change the dates (they only had it open for 4 days though). The house was in Oro Valley, which took us about 45 minutes to get to. We didn't get to sleep until after 2 a.m. But I was wide awake at 5 a.m., probably from the adrenaline that was still coursing through my system. We got everyone ready and met Amy and Vanessa and Amy's friend Leslie at a restaurant called The Good Egg. It was a nice opportunity for Amy to meet Ethan and Noah (who behaved themselves quite well!) and for us all to talk some more. I'd put together a gift basket for Amy with a bathrobe and slippers, along with some nice toiletries. I'd also written a long letter to her, trying to express how incredibly grateful we were for her sacrifice. We had a very pleasant time together. Not once did Amy express any doubts about her decision, only that she knew she was doing the right thing and that we were the right family.